Support

Today more than before, I know I need an awesome support system.  I feel so lucky.  I know that if I needed anything they would drop whatever and come to help me.   I think the key to beating this or coping with it is to not give up hope.  Today I was really sleepy and emotional.  And me an Kiora wrote up a list of side effects I'm enjoying.

Coping

I need to learn some coping mechinisims, when I get bored, and figety.  Any suggestions?.

Remember

I need you to remember a few things...

• We love you
• We are behind you
• Sometimes there are things going on in other aspects of our lives that are beyond our control.
• Sometimes things make us sad, mad, tired, irritable, and we loose our patience. But that doesn't mean we don't still love you.
• I am here until we are 80 years old living with our dogs and being quirky old ladies.
• And I am being selfish, the last few days have been about me. It doesn't mean I love you any less, it just means I have things going on also that made me nervous and apprehensive.
• Also, I love you, and again I am here through the good and the bad.

Changes

Bi-polar  is not recognized in society as a disease.  I always feel like I'm being analyzed.  When someone finds out.  I have yet to get my meds to a good plave.  I'm always tired grouchy, irritable, and have no paitience.  I HATE THIS!!!!!!

The Day

Today was one of those days, I felt that I was a burden on everyone.  My husband is bugged by me, my son is mad and sad at me, and my sis-in-law is worn out by me.  I hate it when people have conversations about you,  like they think you can't handle whatever it is they have to say.  So obviously we haven't found the right combination of drugs yet!!

just a some info....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tyramine

http://www.healthcentral.com/bipolar/action-plans-3229-143.html

I found this interesting.   Like most dieseases if you have a healthy diet you can control your illness a little better.

Family and Friends

WOW a lot has happened.  I hate trying new medications.  Wah wah hate it.  I decided to open this blog to anyone to see.  My sister-in-law, and husband are able to post on this also.  So you can get all sides of the story.  I'm currently staying with my sister-in-law so she can help with Jack on those "bad days".  We are hoping to get meds regulated by August so I can be independant again.  By the way she is the best.  My husband is home 4 hours away trying to work hard so he can keep the bills paid and meds paid for and doctors paid for etc.... But I miss him so much.  I know this is so stressful for him.  So I hope everyone finds this helpful.  Because here we go.

HOPE

There is hope. I went to see Kiora's family Dr. He is AWESOME. He took an hour with me. Asked tons of questions. Explained what he thought was the best approach to getting me on the road to recovery. He diagnosed me wiht bipolar. He explained how it effects me. It was like there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I knew I could do this. He got me on some meds and wants me to see him in a week so we can up the meds. He wants to do a little at a time so my body has time to adjust to the new way of thinking and doing things. He also encouraged me to see a counseler. He said the counseler was like a physical therapist. They will help me cope with my illness and teach me different exercises when I feel an "episode" coming on. Thank goodness for Doctors who care and take the time to try and make you better. Thanks Dr. E. I also had been doing a lot pf praying that he would be inspired to start me with the right treatment. So prayers do work. Thank You Heavenly Father. I think looking back in the past I can see my cycle. And it cycles every two years. So I just need to be mindful of that. Now I just need to learn new coping exercises.